Not sure if

I should be flattered, or offended!!

Had someone come into work earlier who I've not seen in over 20 years. The words they spoke which I'm not sure about were as follows "wow, you've not changed a bit"!

Now, you'd think that is a great thing to hear, however, let's take into consideration that 20 years ago I was 112lb lighter (that's 8 stone to those of you who don't work in pounds - a MASSIVE amount of weight) I was still in my 20's (this April I enter a new decade - I'll let you figure out which) and I had long, dark hair, without a hint of grey. Now, I have it short and with more grey than any other colour in it, yet (apparently) I've not changed a bit! How does that work then? 

This-time-last-year I'd have been quite distraught at someone saying such a thing, would have thought it meant I'd looked bloody awful back then too, however, the new, improved (ooh look, a change) positive me is taking it as a great compliment. It means that the person whom I was speaking too saw me (which also makes them a wonderful person). They didn't see the rolls of fat, the quadruple chin, or the thinning grey hair; nor did they see the person I was back then (for if they had they'd not have said such a thing). No, the person they saw was me; the real me, and on this damp, dank, miserable Monday morning that filled my heart (and head) with blue skies and sunshine (and a really heavy frost, of course; I don't want any of that heat stuff). 

Just so you know the photo below was taken as I finished the last paragraph so is exactly how I am looking right now; the only editing to it is the blurred background (the crap behind me at work was taking away from my natural beauty 😁The camera has been kind, also, and hidden the grey a lot better than it is in the flesh.

There will be some of you who will look at this and say "wow, you're ugly", others who will say "you look old" some might say I look younger than I am (I believe that to be my natural botox - yes, I'm aware it's fat but natural botox sounds so much better). I've been called names before - many, many, many times (I spent my whole childhood being called names - the saying "sticks and stone will break my bones but names will never hurt me" is total BULLSHIT. Bones heal far easier and quicker than the wounds caused by the names) and (thankfully) I overcame them, to find myself where I am now, in a place where your opinion (whether bad, or good) really is irrelevant because I am happy with who I am (even though at the start of this it might not have sounded like it where I've said about my being a fat bint - that's not me being down on myself, that's me being honest with myself) and I am truly the only one who matters. I am well aware I (and only I) can change how I look, and maybe I will at some point, however, I've learned it's far more important to concentrate on keeping your mind healthy, before you can act on keeping your body for (for the record, at my last medical I was told I have the inner workings of a 20 year old athlete and that my body is working in perfect harmony and sync with itself - not all fatties are unhealthy so knock that myth on the head before you decide to go off on one about me being a drain on the NHS - my whole medical history (from birth until now) can fit on one side of A4 paper and that includes the 4 years from baby-to-toddler when my toncils are poisoning me). I'm not (and neither are any of you who may be reading this) on this planet to be a punchbag for others (whether verbally, or phycially). If you're lucky enough to have someone love you, embrace their love, feel it, be warmed and comforted by it, for very few get to truly experience real love. If you have people out there who dislike and despise you, or who are cruel to you, walk away from them if you can, but do so with love. Accept they are welcome to their own opinion of you, but remember those whose opinion of you isn't nice, do NOT matter. 

You are WORTH IT.